I'm having a c-section. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

It doesn't take long for you to figure this out about me...

I like natural things.

Especially natural birth.

If we get even close to the topic of childbearing, my opinion is usually made known. I try not to be harsh with it, 

but quiet I certainly am not. 

So what's up with the title of this post then? 

Well, because it's true.

I'm having a c-section.

I'm scheduling a c-section, actually.

You see, for as long as I have been an advocate for natural birth, I have also been an advocate of the idea 

"intervention is great when necessary". 

I have had two emergency c-sections and 

a natural, vaginal birth.

First section was after a long 68 hour labor...baby Linc wasn't getting into a good position, there was thick meconium and I honestly was too exhausted to be coherent. 

Second section was after a normal amount of labor, but we didn't know the cord was wrapped around baby Quinn's neck three times...so when I was about 8cm and he was heading down the birth canal his heart rate dropped.

REALLY dropped.

And it didn't come back up. 

This is not something you mess with. So we literally hauled ass to the OR and got him out of there. Thankfully, there was no damage done to Quinn.

Third go at it, Cora did great. Vaginal birth. Completely natural. She was in a wonky position at first, but we did a few home remedies and she turned head down no problem.

Here's what I think:

1. I should have gone with a midwife from the get go. I think if I had known Lincoln was in a weird position we could have done something to turn him like we did with Cora. 

2. Since I didn't go to a midwife, once in the position I was in with Lincoln, the c-section became necessary.

3. Quinn was a necessary c-section no doubt. 

4. However necessary the sections were, they were very traumatizing for me. And although their health was great, as they showed in their APGAR scores, I think it must have been traumatizing to the boys to some degree psychologically.

So here's where the whole 

"planning a c-section" comes in.

Mack is plain old not turning head down. On a good day he stays frank breech the whole day. Most days he flip flops back and forth between breech (sometimes with his feet behind him, I can feel it...ouch) and transverse...or the un-technical term...sideways. 

Head on one side, feet on the other. 

Now it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you definitely can't push a baby out of your hooha that is sideways.

If he's frank breech, it's a possibility. 

(Presenting butt first with feet completely out of the way)

Any other combination though is highly unlikely.

Now, if you've met Quinn for more than 30 seconds you know that child is cray cray. 

He's rambunctious, and loud, and FUN.

Well, I'm here to tell you he's been like that since day one.

He had been my most active baby, up until this guy. 

Quinn was so active I could have SWORN I had two babies in there. But no, just one baby who was out of his mind.

Mack doesn't just give him a run for his money...

he freaking takes. the. cake. 

Quinn moved maybe a third of what Mack has done. 

And STILL does. 

Quinn definitely started to slow down and "run out of room", so to speak, towards the end.

Not Mack. He's still going strong.

Constantly moving.

So given my history with active babies, I am pretty confident that Mack will be all tangled up in that cord of his. 

We recently went to an ultrasound to confirm his position and the only pieces of cord they could find to look at were all right by his face and neck. 

Awesome. (not actually awesome)

Also, I have an anterior placenta, which isn't a bad thing, but you just don't know if it's in his way. He may not be able to get his fat head around it and go down. 

So I met with my awesome OB and here's the facts we both came to:

1. We have a history of cords being wrapped.

2. His cord was most visible in his neck region. Not good.

3. The anterior placenta could potentially cause a problem.

4. He has tons of fluid to move around in. 

(not too much, but enough)

5. When he is transverse/sideways, his movements slow down greatly. I feel his limbs/feet/hands the most when he's breech. Which leads us to believe he could be losing slack when he moves sideways and his movements become sluggish.

So given these facts, this is why WE (Graham and I) chose to schedule a c-section...I am in no hurry to repeat what happened at Quinn's delivery. He was a "surprise",

(not knowing the gender that is)

so I woke up in an empty recovery room, all by myself, having no idea what just happened. 

The surgery was done so quickly they didn't give me an epidural, I had general anesthesia, so I woke up, alone, in a daze, I had no idea how long I had been asleep for or if my baby was still alive or been born unscathed without any brain damage. And if they did survive, I didn't know if it was a boy or girl. Also, I was highly tolerant to the pain meds they had been giving me while I was still unconscious so I woke up in CRAZY amounts of pain. Finally a nurse came in to check on me and I told her I needed pain meds...she said I had been having them for hours. She ended up having to give me morphine before I could be transferred to a real recovery room and meet my baby. She also didn't mention anything about my baby and just said she'd let my husband come see me. So I thought for sure it was bad news. I got the news we had a healthy boy from Graham, 

 hours after Quinn was born.

Just to sum that up for you:

SHITTY. 

REAAAAAALY SHITTY.

Here's what's awesome about my OB now and scheduling a

 c-section...

family centered c-sections and getting to choose when it all goes down.

Yeah, Mack could go head down maybe, or he could be in the perfect frank breech position when I go into labor, but there is NO guarantee that he'll stay that way, or have enough cord slack to come out. Plus, Dr. Bootstaylor says he's a huge supporter of breech births, but the mom has to be in it mentally 100%. 

Honestly, I'm not. 

After the year and a half that I've had...I'm totally expecting something to go wrong. Especially if I try for a vaginal birth at this point. 

What's important to me is those moments right after the baby is born. Being together, and conscious, and happy.

Dr. Bootstaylor is the only OB in Atlanta that practices 

Family Centered C-sections.

I'm not strapped to the table, and when it comes time for him to bring the baby out they drop the drape so I can see him being born (much like a vaginal delivery), the midwife will help pull my gown down a little bit, take the baby from the doctor, and bring him straight to me. He stays on my chest, in my arms, for the rest of the time! So once he's on my chest they pull the drape back up, dim the lights, and we get to be together until it's time to transfer me to recovery. Always staying together. There are no warmers, or nurseries, or nurses taking him away. Graham doesn't have to leave my side either to chase after where ever they usually end up taking them. Another upside to this is Dr. Bootstaylor really takes his time. He schedules them further apart so he can go slowly and do his best to work some of the fluid out of the baby's lungs while he's bringing them out...something that naturally occurs by the baby going through the birth canal. He also milks the cord before cutting it so the baby keeps as much of their blood as possible.

Here's a video if you'd like to get more details about it:

So basically, as close to a "normal" birth as you can get, 

without it actually being normal.

Now, I know for some this still isn't enough.

It's not the real thing.

It's not the same as a natural, vaginal birth.

But you know what?

I'm good with it.

I'm just dealing with facts.

I still don't think it's right to schedule c-sections unnecessarily, but when there are so many questions and so many doubts...I had to ask myself, 

"At what point is a vaginal birth still worth it?"

And amazingly enough, my OB and midwives asked the same thing. Instead of forcing him down, maybe we should ask ourselves why he's not.

Baby's are smart, and often try to tell us things 

as best they can.

He has enough fluid and room, he's been encouraged in all the ways we know how 

(introversion, moxibustion, laying on left side, etc etc etc)

so now the questions were "Why?" and "Is it worth it?"

And because the practice I have chosen is amazing at supporting mothers, the choice was left to us.

The parents.

We were given all the facts and advice and evidence, and then given a voice to say what we wanted.

So we decided that the most important thing to us was a non-traumatizing delivery, followed by constant contact with our baby.

So we have chosen 41wks and 1day.

October 4, 2013.

That's the day our Mack comes.

If I go into labor before that we will just move the surgery up to then, but let's be honest...I'm not gonna go into labor before then. haha 

We all know this.

I am honestly thrilled.

I feel so much less anxiety and stress.

I'm just excited now. Which is exactly how it should be.

A mother's last few weeks should be a good, positive healthy kind of anxious.

"When will it be? Do I have everything I need?"

Not negative thoughts and terrifying worries.

I am so thankful to my team of midwives and our obstetrician. They have been so supportive and encouraging.

It's very weird to know the day and time my baby is coming, but man, 

it's gonna be awesome. 

xoxo, Heather