So I think I'm one of those people that bake when they're nervous....as I type, my 3 year old dog, Roxy is in the ER and so far it's not looking too good. So of course I break out the new mixer and bake up some bread. Once that was done I searched for something else to fill my time...and realized I hadn't posted anything yet today....PRAISE THE LORD! Something else to keep my mind off of things. So our recipe this week isn't a full meal or anything it's just something I went to because I had all the ingredients on hand and it takes a long time to bake and I only have one bread pan so it consumes a lot of time. Sorry folks :(
Creamy Banana Bread
Don't be frightened by the word bread, by the way. This term is used loosely in this recipe. There's no kneading or rising involved here.
What you need:
1/2 butter softened (one whole stick) (room temp is best)
1 8oz cream cheese box (room temp is best)
1 1/4 cups white sugar
2 eggs
1 cup mashed bananas
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup chopped pecans
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
What you do:
Cream the butter and cream cheese together until smooth. Gradually add the white sugar, and continue beating until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, making sure to beat them well after each addition. Stir in the mashed bananas and vanilla extract. Next, add the flour, baking powder and baking soda; mix until the batter is just moist. (try not to over mix it)
In a separate bowl mix together the cinnamon, pecans and brown sugar. Set this aside for later.
Divide the batter in half (enough to fill two bread pans). Add half of your (already halved) batter into one of the pans. Sprinkle your brown sugar mixture over top of that, then finish spooning in the rest of your batter. (So really this is two quarters of the batter, does that make sense?) Then repeat these same steps in the second bread pan.
Place them into a preheated oven of 350 degrees and bake for about 45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
There you have it...delicious bread without too much hard labor. Enjoy and I'll keep you posted on Roxygirl!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
it was a merry christmas indeed...
Well...I hope this post finds everyone happy, healthy and having a very, merry Christmas! We had a good and busy Christmas and I just wanted to share some pictures with you before I never got around to it...
Here is somewhat of the "aftermath" from Christmas morning at our house.
 I made a new recipe for Christmas breakfast this year...it was delicious! I'm sure I'll be posting it soon. Try no to drool on your computer ;)  Graham got me a kitchenaid mixer. I'm obsessed. This is me mixing up ingredients for our pie we had for our Christmas feast. It too was delicious...  And now for Christmas Feast! We had cornish hens, stuffing, mashed potatoes, bread and pie....again watch the drooling there. ;)   And lastly, here are some pictures we took of the boys on Christmas Eve. My kids are so freaking cute.    Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night. |
Monday, December 13, 2010
VBAC: what you should know and why I'm not crazy...
So I decided to get a little personal this week. So far my posts have been "fluffy" and I wanted to write about something that I am truly passionate about. Childbirth. (cue music: duh duh duh....) For those of you who aren't mother's or aren't looking to be mother's any time soon I still encourage you to read on. The information you read here will take a lot of time to digest and could potentially help you in the future. So...now that I've warned/encouraged you....(is that possible at the same time?) please enjoy these well researched facts and I hope you can learn from my previous experiences with pregnancy/child birthing. (Warning: this post is VERY long....you may want to take a snack break ;) )
Most of you know that I have two wonderful boys, but most of you don't know that I have had two emergency cesarean sections with both of them, and am planning a VBAC with this third baby. (VBAC = vaginal birth after cesarean) Now the reason for this is because I so strongly believe in natural child birth and the benefits it can give that I will refuse another c-section unless I am put in an emergency situation again. First, let me give you a little background on my pregnancy and birth with Lincoln. This really is where the foundation to my conversion to the natural/hippy/granola world began.
It's September 2007 and Graham and I have just found out we're pregnant. Yay! We're super excited and ecstatic to be new parents. So what's the first thing you do? You call your OB and schedule an appointment. And that's exactly what we did. So about a month later (because OB's are super busy and you can never get an appointment early or when you need it) we head on over to the doctor's office and patiently await to hear our baby. The appointment goes pretty smoothly as far as the physical aspects were concerned. I'm only eight weeks along. The baby sounded good, I looked good, everything was going great. Then our doctor asks us to join us in her office to discuss how we want this pregnancy and delivery to go. Now....Graham and I had been talking about this (we did have a month before our appointment after all...) and had discussed wanting to give birth naturally. Graham's mother had gone through her labors naturally so that was just all Graham knew, but for me it was something different. Birth wasn't something my mother and I had really ever talked about. No one's fault of course. It just wasn't ever really brought up. I do however remember a conversation being had amongst my mom and some of her friends just a couple of years before. They were all discussing their births and what had happened with each of their stories and I just remember thinking to myself, "I really think I would prefer to do it naturally. It just seems weird to get a big needle in your back for no reason." So obviously, coming to the conclusion to do things naturally wasn't hard for us. It was either engrained or instinctual. However, since I am adopted and don't know the history of my birth or any of my birthmother's details we decided we felt most safe doing it naturally, but in the hospital just in case. So we get in the doctor's office and she says, "Ok, what would you like to see happen as far as delivery for your baby is concerned." Graham and I look at each other and then we both say, "We'd like to do it naturally." She then explains to us how labor is not a sprint, but like a marathon that you don't know when or where it's going to end (which is true) and to believe you can make it through to the end before you've even started is a hard promise to fulfill to yourself. (should have seen that last bit as a red flag, but didn't know it at the time...) She then proceeded to discuss our options as far as anesthetics go and we came to the conclusion that I would labor as long as I could naturally and know that the epidural was there if I needed it. She then also encouraged us to find a good birthing class to prepare us for labor (again true and good advice) and assured us that our son being born would be one of the happiest days of our lives and she was grateful to be apart of it. We left the office feeling good, and were very excited for the next chapter of our lives.
Flash forward about 28 weeks. At this point in time I'm about 36 weeks along (an average timeline is about 40 weeks) and feeling great. We had decided to attend Bradley Classes and felt positive and educated as far as how to get this baby out safely and happily. We had learned a lot in our twelve weeks of classes and felt prepared. And thus far hadn't really run into any bumps in the road, so to speak. We would come to the doctor with questions we were taught to ask in class and she would simply smile, nod her head and excuse herself to her next patient.
Flash forward again another two weeks, we're at 38 weeks on a random weekday evening and I'm getting some consistent contractions that aren't easy, but not unbearable. They last all through the night and into the early morning and are still consistent at about 4-5 minutes apart. So of course, we think, "This is it!" So we load up our stuff and head over to Graham's parents house. We wanted to labor at home as long as possible, but were far from our hospital so we went there to have comforts of home without having to check in and be admitted to the hospital. We aren't there long and the contractions stayed the same if not getting closer together so we decide at around 7a.m. to head on over to the hospital. Well, on the ride there they get further and further apart. And by the time I'm admitted to the hospital the contractions are almost nonexistent. So, disappointed of course, we head home and patiently await the actual birth of our son. Throughout the next 4 weeks (yes that's right I said 4) I have these same consistent contractions daily. I didn't know this at the time, but this was great practice for me and really were beneficial I think in preparing me for the actual labor that was to come.
Flash forward about two weeks. 39 weeks, 5 days and counting. Since my little "false alarm" happened our doctor seems hopeful this little guy will come any day, but since it's been two weeks and nothing has happened she decides to schedule an ultrasound just to check up on things and the baby. So we head on over to the ultrasound place and this is where it all goes down hill. We're sitting there happily watching our baby on the screen when the ultrasound doctor says, "Ok, we have a slight problem." PROBLEM?? WHAT PROBLEM??! Is my first thought naturally. He goes on to say, "It appears your baby is macrosomic. I would suggest you talk with your doctor and discuss your options as far as this baby is concerned." So, in shock and terror, we head back to the doctor's office to talk about our "options". When we get there we are terrified and our doctor does nothing to help that. She explains to us that macrosomic means our baby is "quite large" and she's afraid that if we don't induce he will get too big for me to give birth to him vaginally. Horrified that our plan is not going as smoothly as we hoped we told her we would schedule an induction. We are to be back in the hospital that night at 7pm.
When we get home we immediately hop on the computer and start researching "macrosomic". While this is a real thing and can happen, we deduce that this can't be true for us. The major things that predispose you to true macrosomia were if the mother were over the age of 35, has gestational diabetes, and is past her due date. None of these are me. Not even close. So we breathe a sigh of relief, call our doctor to cancel the induction and sit down to still patiently wait. (Side note: we found our information at marchofdimes.com. Always use credible sources when searching important things. Someone's opinion on Yahoo! ain't gonna cut it) A week goes by and still no baby, so we head over for our weekly appointment.
41 weeks and counting. (My days/weeks will start to get a little muddy here and not so precise, you'll have to forgive me...I do however know the exact day I went into labor and the exact day I gave birth, so that helps!) We head in for our weekly visit and are worried about what we might find there. An angry and anxious doctor is what we find. She says she's concerned about the baby and wants us to seriously consider "getting him out of there". We are past our due date by a full week and can't risk "this" anymore. (whatever "this" is I'm still unsure...her reputation possibly?) We then proceed to tell her we still don't feel comfortable with an induction, as long as the baby is healthy and I am healthy we see no reason to intervene. She literally flies off the handle. She tells me that my pride is not worth saving at the risk of my baby, blah blah blah. I didn't find what she had to say the least bit interesting because this was NOT about pride for me. I honestly believed (and still believe) that keeping intervention low in pregnancy and child birth is the SAFEST route to go. Not the easiest or funnest or best way to earn bragging rights. No. I believe that to do NOTHING is better than doing anything, in the case like ours that I was healthy and Lincoln was healthy. She begs us to go get another ultrasound with a perinatal specialist, and just to get her to shut up and make her happy...as best we could without using a pit drip or a scalpel...we comply. (a "pit drip" is also known as the drug Pitocin that is used to induce or speed up labor.) So the next day we head over to this specialist. Now, I don't know about you, but most people don't receive special treatment when going to a doctor's office. You sign in just like everybody else, you wait in the waiting room like everybody else, you wait in the exam room...like everybody else....not the case this time. When we arrive, the nurses are waiting for us and know be my name. They immediately call me back and the ultrasound tech/nurse lady is waiting for us in the exam room. She takes her measurements quickly (a little too quickly and inaccurately in my opinion) and says the doctor will be with us shortly. Well, she was right. Not even two seconds alone for Graham and I to say to each other, "What the heck is going on?" and the doctor is walking in, talking on his cell phone...to our doctor. He goes on to show us that the baby is measuring 12lbs 3oz and proceeds to tell us we can no longer discuss induction. It's c-section or nothing. Yup, in a matter of a day I lost all my rights to push this baby out. So of course I go into mama bear mode and say, "Well, is the baby ok? Other than him being large, he is healthy?" Here the doctor interrupts me and says, "This is not up for discussion. You are having a c-section." Graham then proceeds to stand up, and kick the doctor out of the room. (Gah! I love that man...)
So what do you do then? You have a doctor that will cut you open if you go near her and other doctor's backing her up. You feel completely betrayed by the medical institution and have no where to go...We got in the car and Graham immediately called his mom. (I may have actually asked him to call her while he was dialing. We needed her input asap.) She tells us she knows of a home birth midwife that may be able to meet with us and let us know our true, real options, but probably couldn't help us herself. Out of desperation and some much needed encouragement,we call her up and plan to meet with her the next day.
She's wonderful! She's helpful, not the least bit worried and totally laid back. So at 42 weeks and 1 day, we're sitting there in her home (not an office or exam room) explaining our situation and she interrupts me (not in a rude way like the doctors do, I made note of that) and tells me to lie down....she wants to feel my belly. She proceeds to say, "Oh that's not a twelve pound baby! I'd guess 9lbs 5oz...." She then asks us what we want from her. Graham looks her right in the eyes and says, "We've appreciated all your helpful words and encouragement and I'm asking you now to do a home birth with us." She promptly said, "I was afraid of that!" with a smirk on her face. :) She says she wants to think about it and pray about it and she'll let us know tomorrow. Well, around 5pm that same evening she calls us and let's us know she'd be happy to take us. She gives Graham and LONG list of supplies to go pick up and we start on it immediately. That night we have some friends over to just hang out, relax and play wii and have never been happier. The stress from the last 3 1/2 weeks seemed to be melting off of us and we felt awesome.
Sure enough at 3 am that morning, 42 weeks and 2 days, I am woken up with a bad contraction. It was different from the ones I had been practicing with, but I did my best to breath through it and go back to sleep. Around 9am we woke up and got dressed. We planned to have breakfast with some of our close friends that were leaving to head back out of town (they live in Birmingham) that morning and seeing as how I had had false alarms before I didn't want to cancel and miss out on being with them just in case it didn't turn into anything. (I know, I know...seems unlike at 42 weeks, but you begin to feel like the baby will NEVER come out!) Well it did, by the time breakfast was over, I was having to concentrate every time a contraction came and was feeling quite uncomfortable in the car on the way home. We called our new midwife and she told us to just keep track of things and she'd call us back in a bit.
The next three days are a BLUR for me. I was in labor the whole time, without much sleep, and just trying to stay in the zone. I labored what seemed like forever. I remember lots of being in the tub, hearing "Sweet Caroline" on the iPod and my mother-in-law coaching me to make deeeeep, looooow sounds instead of high-pitchy sounds to help with each coming contraction. (That woman works wonders I tell you...) I had gone into labor early Sunday morning and by Tuesday night at 7 my water had broken, but labor was still going slow. We found out that Lincoln was in a very weird position and it was making it difficult for the contractions to help push him down into the birthing canal. So at about 11pm that night Graham, my mother in law, sister in law, midwife and midwife apprentice all came to me and said, "I think it's time to go to the hospital." I asked them if they were sure and they simply replied yes. At the time I wasn't heartbroken or anything. I was just tired. So we packed everything up and headed to Gwinnett Medical. When we got there, it was rough. The nurses were rude. I was uncomfortable. And I couldn't stop throwing up. When the nurse went to check me a thick rush of fluid came out that was thick and dark. Meconium. Meconium is the baby's first real bowel movement. Sometimes this happens early when they're in distress. Graham and I knew about this and knew that sometimes a little bit of meconium was ok, but Graham took one good look at this and knew something needed to be done immediately. We didn't have the time, nor I the strength, to wait any more. So we decided to go with an emergency c-section. (NOTE: the doctors never chose to tell me about this weird position Lincoln was in. My midwife was convinced that he had been that way for a while. It was almost ingrained in him, and that's why even labor wasn't making him move out of it. I still don't know, but whether it was the doctor's ignorance or her just flat out keeping the truth from me, it was wrong. That is something very important we should have known about.)
Now, seeing as how I went through 70 hours of labor with NO medication I'd like to think I have a high pain tolerance. That being said, c-sections are painful. They are an artificial pain. It's an unnatural pain you aren't supposed to have and can't really deal with. I don't really know how to explain it. So when you are trying to exclusively breastfeed your son in that kind of discomfort you'd think that the last thing you need is some one discouraging you right? That's what I'd think, too. Well, the nurses on staff must have disagreed. Lincoln was born at 2:03 am on Wednesday, May 28, 2008. He was a WHOPPING 9lbs 7oz (I find this interesting because not only was the ultrasound WAY off at 12lbs, but only 3 days before my midwife had guessed 9lbs 5oz...She was dead on. She had known me an hour, felt my belly once, and knew exactly how much my baby weighed...no technology needed.) and was whisked away to the NICU. He had no real problems. They like to tell me he had neumothoraxes (when you have a portion of your lung that's been "blown out" like a balloon sort of), but I don't believe they were there before I gave birth to him. They gave him a lot of forced air in the first few minutes of his life and that will do the trick. He also scored VERY well and high on his APGAR test. This is the test all babies must pass when they are minutes old. It shows that they are fully functioning and healthy. Linc got the right scores, but they took him to the NICU anyway. So I would travel up and down the elevator all day and night long trying to exclusively breast feed my son. I had nurses tell me to rest, I looked tired. I had nurses tell me it wasn't worth wearing myself out. (Really?! My own son isn't worth me being a little tired?! Really?!) And I had one special nurse tell me she ought to "slap me for what I did". What I did being of course a home birth. So needless to say, the medical community has left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. But four days later (that's how long Linc had to stay in the NICU and most patients have to stay after having a c-section) we got to leave that place. Baby in hand, never looking back. I got to exclusively breast feed Lincoln for the next nine months thanks to my own determination and support from Graham and his family....(fyi: I only had to stop breastfeeding because I got pregnant with Quinn and my milk dried up)
So this story is how I came to easily decide with Quinn's birth it would be home birth from the start. All my pre-natal care was good, easy and not the least bit stressful. I went into labor at about 41 weeks, was laboring well at home and then when my water broke my dialation went from 8cm to 4cm (the goal being 10cm to push). Not good. So this time it was I who decided we should go to the hospital. We showed up again to Gwinnett Medical (it's the only hospital close to us) and the SAME doctor was on call! ha! They were setting me up for a vaginal delivery and we were sitting there chatting with the doctor when Quinn's heart rate dropped. And I don't mean it dipped down, I mean it went down and stayed down. An average healthy baby's heart will be around 145-150...Quinn's got down to 54. We watched it go down 90....84....76....62....54.....and after the contraction was done it didn't come back up. Usually you can wait until the contraction is done because there can sometimes be so much pressure from the uterus contracting that this will happen naturally. But this was not the case. The doctor asked for our verbal consent to perform a c-section, we said yes, and in less than fifteen minutes Quinn was born. Healthy and fat! He was born at 9:02pm 10lbs 14oz :) He was completely healthy and scored great on his APGAR test. The doctor informed us later that he had had the cord wrapped around his neck THREE times. Making it difficult to get him out. She says this more than likely was the cause for the backwards dialation and the reason his heart rate bottomed out. All in all we were happy he was here and safe no matter what.
So here's where the hard facts and really good information comes in. Most doctor's will not take you if you are a VBAC (which also helped in the decision to do a home birth with Quinn. The doctor who performed my first c-section would not take me.) The liability is just too much for them. However, most people do not know for themselves that it is not any more safe to continue to schedule c-sections. While both of my sections were necessary and needed in order to keep our babies safe, we have no reason to believe that either of those things will go wrong this time around. They are very specific problems/issues that can't be counted on everytime and very well shouldn't be.
Some interesting facts/statistics about VBAC, birth and post-partum in general:
- risks associated with cesareans and repeat cesareans consistently increase with each one, but after one successful VBAC all risks of VBAC significantly decrease for each successful birth
- planned VBACS have lower complication rates than planned repeat C-sections
- our nation's current c-section rate it as 32%. The World Health Organization deems any rate above 15%, too high and unnecessary.
- God equipped our amazing bodies with a hormone called Oxytocin; this is called the "bonding hormone". It allows you to bond with your baby and make a real connection with them. It's first big surge is when labor naturally kicks in and it's second biggest surge is when the baby is passing through the birth canal. (though it's pumping all through out labor continuously) Most women who are induced, have a cesarean or schedule a repeat cesarean will never get to experience this. It's also the same hormone which allows us to almost forget the pain of child-bearing. So our bodies are FULLY equipped to handle labor and delivery without the help of medicine if we chose to do so. (how else would we have more babies, anyway?!)
- If you chose to labor naturally your chances at breastfeeding greatly increase. Epidurals and pitocin are administered based on the mother's weight, not the babies, so if a 8ishlb person (your child) gets the same amount of drugs as a 150ishlb person (mama bear) they're gonna be a little "hung over" so to speak. This results in a highly lethargic baby that has a hard time concentrating on latching on to eat. By laboring and delivering naturally your baby with be brought into this world awake and happy and ready to eat. :) (Plus breast milk is free, so for me it's the obvious choice...no coupons needed!)
- by birthing naturally and allowing the "bonding hormone" to kick in, breast feeding will come more naturally for you, the mother, as well. It's a bit strange to think about a tiny human sucking off of you, but in those first moments it seems so right!! Trust me!
---Side note: Since both of my c-sections were emergencies and happened so fast we're almost certain the drugs were unable to reach the boys before they were already out and into this world. This cause them to be GREAT eaters! :) And since I got to go into labor naturally with them and labor for quite some time I had some oxytocin pumping through my veins. So despite the to c-sections, I felt a very close connection to my boys and breast fed successfully for 9 and 12 months.---
- Breastfeeding naturally stimulates your uterus to contract. This is a very important factor as far as healing is concerned after a birth. Since I was able to breast feed my recovery was very successful both times.
- 75% of all VBACs are successful.
- 45% of women are interested in the option of VBAC, but 92% have a repeat c-sections due to the ban on VBACs in hospitals and ignorance among the medical community in regards to VBACs.
- there's plenty more, but I encourage you to do some research of your own! ;)
The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology have a pretty big chunk of the Ob/Gyn market...pretty much what they say goes. For years they have been determining the outcomes of birth and how they are achieved. So when their most recent article came out I was beyond excited. To quote it word for word, "Attempting a VBAC is a safe and appropriate choice for most women who have had a prior cesarean delivery including for some women who have had two previous cesareans." WOW! That's awesome....and they even go on to say, "Being pregnant with twins, going over 40 weeks, having an unknown or low vertical scar, or suspecting a “big baby” should not prevent a woman from planning a VBAC." WOW, again!!! I mean I can't believe it. Now, unfortunately this doesn't mean that ALL doctors and ALL practices are going to change their minds. Obviously, people have their own opinions no matter what, but the great part is, that some people really believe in this. They believed it before ACOG said it, and will continue to believe as long as the babies and mommies keep coming up healthy on the other side of things....
Now some of you might be wondering if I'm planning a home birth again. Sadly, I am not. While I still believe that it is a great option and you should chose to do so if you can (Please! Or with a midwife in a hospital or birthing center), at this point for me I think it's safest to go with a supportive team in a hospital. The women in my new practice really seem to know what they are doing and have the rule of the midwife down....know when to use your hands, and know when to sit on them.
I encourage to THINK for yourself. Do not just lie back and let some one do what's best or easiest for them. You have options and you have a right to act on them. Do your research and know what is actually healthy and safe for you and your baby. Don't just assume what every person tells you is true. Be educated. I like to think of it this way....there are few decisions we get to make in life that are truly life-changing and/or "a big deal". Some examples: getting married, buying a house, and having babies. If someone were to come to you and say, "I'm an expert on love and marriages, I have years of experience and have been married myself...I'm going to pick your spouse for you." You would most likely think that's absurd. (Which it is...) You would think that no matter how much they knew, they wouldn't know better than you! Of course you'll chose for yourself who you spend the rest of your life with. Let's look at the second example. Say you hire a real estate agent, and instead of them being there to help guide you and listen to your needs they say, "I have a general idea of who you are as a couple and your price range, I've been doing this for years and am a licensed professional. I'll just pick a house for you. No need to have any say in the process or come look at the house...I'll call you when I put an offer in." Again with the absurdities. WHO would do that??! No one hopefully, this real estate agent just met you...they may know your age and where you want to live, but perhaps they don't know you like to garden, or would enjoy a sunroom, or want to have a boatload of kids so you need tons of square footage. So with those two examples in mind, how are we handling the responsibility of the third? Are you willing to let someone tell you what's going to happen for your birth just because they've been "doing this for years"? Will you let a person cut you open just because they are licensed to do so (and so they can be home for dinner)? When you know deep down that it's not the healthiest option for you and your baby...when you really dig deep and think about it and do the research and know your options....you know it's absurd as well. We can't just sit back and let everyone else decide for us. So educate yourself and know what you want. Then work hard to get it.
I hope you all learned a little something from my rant. I just had to get some of that off my chest. There was a lot that went unsaid (shocking I know!) so feel free to ask me any questions you like. I am always open to discussion. Love you all and care for you all deeply.
Most of you know that I have two wonderful boys, but most of you don't know that I have had two emergency cesarean sections with both of them, and am planning a VBAC with this third baby. (VBAC = vaginal birth after cesarean) Now the reason for this is because I so strongly believe in natural child birth and the benefits it can give that I will refuse another c-section unless I am put in an emergency situation again. First, let me give you a little background on my pregnancy and birth with Lincoln. This really is where the foundation to my conversion to the natural/hippy/granola world began.
It's September 2007 and Graham and I have just found out we're pregnant. Yay! We're super excited and ecstatic to be new parents. So what's the first thing you do? You call your OB and schedule an appointment. And that's exactly what we did. So about a month later (because OB's are super busy and you can never get an appointment early or when you need it) we head on over to the doctor's office and patiently await to hear our baby. The appointment goes pretty smoothly as far as the physical aspects were concerned. I'm only eight weeks along. The baby sounded good, I looked good, everything was going great. Then our doctor asks us to join us in her office to discuss how we want this pregnancy and delivery to go. Now....Graham and I had been talking about this (we did have a month before our appointment after all...) and had discussed wanting to give birth naturally. Graham's mother had gone through her labors naturally so that was just all Graham knew, but for me it was something different. Birth wasn't something my mother and I had really ever talked about. No one's fault of course. It just wasn't ever really brought up. I do however remember a conversation being had amongst my mom and some of her friends just a couple of years before. They were all discussing their births and what had happened with each of their stories and I just remember thinking to myself, "I really think I would prefer to do it naturally. It just seems weird to get a big needle in your back for no reason." So obviously, coming to the conclusion to do things naturally wasn't hard for us. It was either engrained or instinctual. However, since I am adopted and don't know the history of my birth or any of my birthmother's details we decided we felt most safe doing it naturally, but in the hospital just in case. So we get in the doctor's office and she says, "Ok, what would you like to see happen as far as delivery for your baby is concerned." Graham and I look at each other and then we both say, "We'd like to do it naturally." She then explains to us how labor is not a sprint, but like a marathon that you don't know when or where it's going to end (which is true) and to believe you can make it through to the end before you've even started is a hard promise to fulfill to yourself. (should have seen that last bit as a red flag, but didn't know it at the time...) She then proceeded to discuss our options as far as anesthetics go and we came to the conclusion that I would labor as long as I could naturally and know that the epidural was there if I needed it. She then also encouraged us to find a good birthing class to prepare us for labor (again true and good advice) and assured us that our son being born would be one of the happiest days of our lives and she was grateful to be apart of it. We left the office feeling good, and were very excited for the next chapter of our lives.
Flash forward about 28 weeks. At this point in time I'm about 36 weeks along (an average timeline is about 40 weeks) and feeling great. We had decided to attend Bradley Classes and felt positive and educated as far as how to get this baby out safely and happily. We had learned a lot in our twelve weeks of classes and felt prepared. And thus far hadn't really run into any bumps in the road, so to speak. We would come to the doctor with questions we were taught to ask in class and she would simply smile, nod her head and excuse herself to her next patient.
Flash forward again another two weeks, we're at 38 weeks on a random weekday evening and I'm getting some consistent contractions that aren't easy, but not unbearable. They last all through the night and into the early morning and are still consistent at about 4-5 minutes apart. So of course, we think, "This is it!" So we load up our stuff and head over to Graham's parents house. We wanted to labor at home as long as possible, but were far from our hospital so we went there to have comforts of home without having to check in and be admitted to the hospital. We aren't there long and the contractions stayed the same if not getting closer together so we decide at around 7a.m. to head on over to the hospital. Well, on the ride there they get further and further apart. And by the time I'm admitted to the hospital the contractions are almost nonexistent. So, disappointed of course, we head home and patiently await the actual birth of our son. Throughout the next 4 weeks (yes that's right I said 4) I have these same consistent contractions daily. I didn't know this at the time, but this was great practice for me and really were beneficial I think in preparing me for the actual labor that was to come.
Flash forward about two weeks. 39 weeks, 5 days and counting. Since my little "false alarm" happened our doctor seems hopeful this little guy will come any day, but since it's been two weeks and nothing has happened she decides to schedule an ultrasound just to check up on things and the baby. So we head on over to the ultrasound place and this is where it all goes down hill. We're sitting there happily watching our baby on the screen when the ultrasound doctor says, "Ok, we have a slight problem." PROBLEM?? WHAT PROBLEM??! Is my first thought naturally. He goes on to say, "It appears your baby is macrosomic. I would suggest you talk with your doctor and discuss your options as far as this baby is concerned." So, in shock and terror, we head back to the doctor's office to talk about our "options". When we get there we are terrified and our doctor does nothing to help that. She explains to us that macrosomic means our baby is "quite large" and she's afraid that if we don't induce he will get too big for me to give birth to him vaginally. Horrified that our plan is not going as smoothly as we hoped we told her we would schedule an induction. We are to be back in the hospital that night at 7pm.
When we get home we immediately hop on the computer and start researching "macrosomic". While this is a real thing and can happen, we deduce that this can't be true for us. The major things that predispose you to true macrosomia were if the mother were over the age of 35, has gestational diabetes, and is past her due date. None of these are me. Not even close. So we breathe a sigh of relief, call our doctor to cancel the induction and sit down to still patiently wait. (Side note: we found our information at marchofdimes.com. Always use credible sources when searching important things. Someone's opinion on Yahoo! ain't gonna cut it) A week goes by and still no baby, so we head over for our weekly appointment.
41 weeks and counting. (My days/weeks will start to get a little muddy here and not so precise, you'll have to forgive me...I do however know the exact day I went into labor and the exact day I gave birth, so that helps!) We head in for our weekly visit and are worried about what we might find there. An angry and anxious doctor is what we find. She says she's concerned about the baby and wants us to seriously consider "getting him out of there". We are past our due date by a full week and can't risk "this" anymore. (whatever "this" is I'm still unsure...her reputation possibly?) We then proceed to tell her we still don't feel comfortable with an induction, as long as the baby is healthy and I am healthy we see no reason to intervene. She literally flies off the handle. She tells me that my pride is not worth saving at the risk of my baby, blah blah blah. I didn't find what she had to say the least bit interesting because this was NOT about pride for me. I honestly believed (and still believe) that keeping intervention low in pregnancy and child birth is the SAFEST route to go. Not the easiest or funnest or best way to earn bragging rights. No. I believe that to do NOTHING is better than doing anything, in the case like ours that I was healthy and Lincoln was healthy. She begs us to go get another ultrasound with a perinatal specialist, and just to get her to shut up and make her happy...as best we could without using a pit drip or a scalpel...we comply. (a "pit drip" is also known as the drug Pitocin that is used to induce or speed up labor.) So the next day we head over to this specialist. Now, I don't know about you, but most people don't receive special treatment when going to a doctor's office. You sign in just like everybody else, you wait in the waiting room like everybody else, you wait in the exam room...like everybody else....not the case this time. When we arrive, the nurses are waiting for us and know be my name. They immediately call me back and the ultrasound tech/nurse lady is waiting for us in the exam room. She takes her measurements quickly (a little too quickly and inaccurately in my opinion) and says the doctor will be with us shortly. Well, she was right. Not even two seconds alone for Graham and I to say to each other, "What the heck is going on?" and the doctor is walking in, talking on his cell phone...to our doctor. He goes on to show us that the baby is measuring 12lbs 3oz and proceeds to tell us we can no longer discuss induction. It's c-section or nothing. Yup, in a matter of a day I lost all my rights to push this baby out. So of course I go into mama bear mode and say, "Well, is the baby ok? Other than him being large, he is healthy?" Here the doctor interrupts me and says, "This is not up for discussion. You are having a c-section." Graham then proceeds to stand up, and kick the doctor out of the room. (Gah! I love that man...)
So what do you do then? You have a doctor that will cut you open if you go near her and other doctor's backing her up. You feel completely betrayed by the medical institution and have no where to go...We got in the car and Graham immediately called his mom. (I may have actually asked him to call her while he was dialing. We needed her input asap.) She tells us she knows of a home birth midwife that may be able to meet with us and let us know our true, real options, but probably couldn't help us herself. Out of desperation and some much needed encouragement,we call her up and plan to meet with her the next day.
She's wonderful! She's helpful, not the least bit worried and totally laid back. So at 42 weeks and 1 day, we're sitting there in her home (not an office or exam room) explaining our situation and she interrupts me (not in a rude way like the doctors do, I made note of that) and tells me to lie down....she wants to feel my belly. She proceeds to say, "Oh that's not a twelve pound baby! I'd guess 9lbs 5oz...." She then asks us what we want from her. Graham looks her right in the eyes and says, "We've appreciated all your helpful words and encouragement and I'm asking you now to do a home birth with us." She promptly said, "I was afraid of that!" with a smirk on her face. :) She says she wants to think about it and pray about it and she'll let us know tomorrow. Well, around 5pm that same evening she calls us and let's us know she'd be happy to take us. She gives Graham and LONG list of supplies to go pick up and we start on it immediately. That night we have some friends over to just hang out, relax and play wii and have never been happier. The stress from the last 3 1/2 weeks seemed to be melting off of us and we felt awesome.
Sure enough at 3 am that morning, 42 weeks and 2 days, I am woken up with a bad contraction. It was different from the ones I had been practicing with, but I did my best to breath through it and go back to sleep. Around 9am we woke up and got dressed. We planned to have breakfast with some of our close friends that were leaving to head back out of town (they live in Birmingham) that morning and seeing as how I had had false alarms before I didn't want to cancel and miss out on being with them just in case it didn't turn into anything. (I know, I know...seems unlike at 42 weeks, but you begin to feel like the baby will NEVER come out!) Well it did, by the time breakfast was over, I was having to concentrate every time a contraction came and was feeling quite uncomfortable in the car on the way home. We called our new midwife and she told us to just keep track of things and she'd call us back in a bit.
The next three days are a BLUR for me. I was in labor the whole time, without much sleep, and just trying to stay in the zone. I labored what seemed like forever. I remember lots of being in the tub, hearing "Sweet Caroline" on the iPod and my mother-in-law coaching me to make deeeeep, looooow sounds instead of high-pitchy sounds to help with each coming contraction. (That woman works wonders I tell you...) I had gone into labor early Sunday morning and by Tuesday night at 7 my water had broken, but labor was still going slow. We found out that Lincoln was in a very weird position and it was making it difficult for the contractions to help push him down into the birthing canal. So at about 11pm that night Graham, my mother in law, sister in law, midwife and midwife apprentice all came to me and said, "I think it's time to go to the hospital." I asked them if they were sure and they simply replied yes. At the time I wasn't heartbroken or anything. I was just tired. So we packed everything up and headed to Gwinnett Medical. When we got there, it was rough. The nurses were rude. I was uncomfortable. And I couldn't stop throwing up. When the nurse went to check me a thick rush of fluid came out that was thick and dark. Meconium. Meconium is the baby's first real bowel movement. Sometimes this happens early when they're in distress. Graham and I knew about this and knew that sometimes a little bit of meconium was ok, but Graham took one good look at this and knew something needed to be done immediately. We didn't have the time, nor I the strength, to wait any more. So we decided to go with an emergency c-section. (NOTE: the doctors never chose to tell me about this weird position Lincoln was in. My midwife was convinced that he had been that way for a while. It was almost ingrained in him, and that's why even labor wasn't making him move out of it. I still don't know, but whether it was the doctor's ignorance or her just flat out keeping the truth from me, it was wrong. That is something very important we should have known about.)
Now, seeing as how I went through 70 hours of labor with NO medication I'd like to think I have a high pain tolerance. That being said, c-sections are painful. They are an artificial pain. It's an unnatural pain you aren't supposed to have and can't really deal with. I don't really know how to explain it. So when you are trying to exclusively breastfeed your son in that kind of discomfort you'd think that the last thing you need is some one discouraging you right? That's what I'd think, too. Well, the nurses on staff must have disagreed. Lincoln was born at 2:03 am on Wednesday, May 28, 2008. He was a WHOPPING 9lbs 7oz (I find this interesting because not only was the ultrasound WAY off at 12lbs, but only 3 days before my midwife had guessed 9lbs 5oz...She was dead on. She had known me an hour, felt my belly once, and knew exactly how much my baby weighed...no technology needed.) and was whisked away to the NICU. He had no real problems. They like to tell me he had neumothoraxes (when you have a portion of your lung that's been "blown out" like a balloon sort of), but I don't believe they were there before I gave birth to him. They gave him a lot of forced air in the first few minutes of his life and that will do the trick. He also scored VERY well and high on his APGAR test. This is the test all babies must pass when they are minutes old. It shows that they are fully functioning and healthy. Linc got the right scores, but they took him to the NICU anyway. So I would travel up and down the elevator all day and night long trying to exclusively breast feed my son. I had nurses tell me to rest, I looked tired. I had nurses tell me it wasn't worth wearing myself out. (Really?! My own son isn't worth me being a little tired?! Really?!) And I had one special nurse tell me she ought to "slap me for what I did". What I did being of course a home birth. So needless to say, the medical community has left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. But four days later (that's how long Linc had to stay in the NICU and most patients have to stay after having a c-section) we got to leave that place. Baby in hand, never looking back. I got to exclusively breast feed Lincoln for the next nine months thanks to my own determination and support from Graham and his family....(fyi: I only had to stop breastfeeding because I got pregnant with Quinn and my milk dried up)
So this story is how I came to easily decide with Quinn's birth it would be home birth from the start. All my pre-natal care was good, easy and not the least bit stressful. I went into labor at about 41 weeks, was laboring well at home and then when my water broke my dialation went from 8cm to 4cm (the goal being 10cm to push). Not good. So this time it was I who decided we should go to the hospital. We showed up again to Gwinnett Medical (it's the only hospital close to us) and the SAME doctor was on call! ha! They were setting me up for a vaginal delivery and we were sitting there chatting with the doctor when Quinn's heart rate dropped. And I don't mean it dipped down, I mean it went down and stayed down. An average healthy baby's heart will be around 145-150...Quinn's got down to 54. We watched it go down 90....84....76....62....54.....and after the contraction was done it didn't come back up. Usually you can wait until the contraction is done because there can sometimes be so much pressure from the uterus contracting that this will happen naturally. But this was not the case. The doctor asked for our verbal consent to perform a c-section, we said yes, and in less than fifteen minutes Quinn was born. Healthy and fat! He was born at 9:02pm 10lbs 14oz :) He was completely healthy and scored great on his APGAR test. The doctor informed us later that he had had the cord wrapped around his neck THREE times. Making it difficult to get him out. She says this more than likely was the cause for the backwards dialation and the reason his heart rate bottomed out. All in all we were happy he was here and safe no matter what.
So here's where the hard facts and really good information comes in. Most doctor's will not take you if you are a VBAC (which also helped in the decision to do a home birth with Quinn. The doctor who performed my first c-section would not take me.) The liability is just too much for them. However, most people do not know for themselves that it is not any more safe to continue to schedule c-sections. While both of my sections were necessary and needed in order to keep our babies safe, we have no reason to believe that either of those things will go wrong this time around. They are very specific problems/issues that can't be counted on everytime and very well shouldn't be.
Some interesting facts/statistics about VBAC, birth and post-partum in general:
- risks associated with cesareans and repeat cesareans consistently increase with each one, but after one successful VBAC all risks of VBAC significantly decrease for each successful birth
- planned VBACS have lower complication rates than planned repeat C-sections
- our nation's current c-section rate it as 32%. The World Health Organization deems any rate above 15%, too high and unnecessary.
- God equipped our amazing bodies with a hormone called Oxytocin; this is called the "bonding hormone". It allows you to bond with your baby and make a real connection with them. It's first big surge is when labor naturally kicks in and it's second biggest surge is when the baby is passing through the birth canal. (though it's pumping all through out labor continuously) Most women who are induced, have a cesarean or schedule a repeat cesarean will never get to experience this. It's also the same hormone which allows us to almost forget the pain of child-bearing. So our bodies are FULLY equipped to handle labor and delivery without the help of medicine if we chose to do so. (how else would we have more babies, anyway?!)
- If you chose to labor naturally your chances at breastfeeding greatly increase. Epidurals and pitocin are administered based on the mother's weight, not the babies, so if a 8ishlb person (your child) gets the same amount of drugs as a 150ishlb person (mama bear) they're gonna be a little "hung over" so to speak. This results in a highly lethargic baby that has a hard time concentrating on latching on to eat. By laboring and delivering naturally your baby with be brought into this world awake and happy and ready to eat. :) (Plus breast milk is free, so for me it's the obvious choice...no coupons needed!)
- by birthing naturally and allowing the "bonding hormone" to kick in, breast feeding will come more naturally for you, the mother, as well. It's a bit strange to think about a tiny human sucking off of you, but in those first moments it seems so right!! Trust me!
---Side note: Since both of my c-sections were emergencies and happened so fast we're almost certain the drugs were unable to reach the boys before they were already out and into this world. This cause them to be GREAT eaters! :) And since I got to go into labor naturally with them and labor for quite some time I had some oxytocin pumping through my veins. So despite the to c-sections, I felt a very close connection to my boys and breast fed successfully for 9 and 12 months.---
- Breastfeeding naturally stimulates your uterus to contract. This is a very important factor as far as healing is concerned after a birth. Since I was able to breast feed my recovery was very successful both times.
- 75% of all VBACs are successful.
- 45% of women are interested in the option of VBAC, but 92% have a repeat c-sections due to the ban on VBACs in hospitals and ignorance among the medical community in regards to VBACs.
- there's plenty more, but I encourage you to do some research of your own! ;)
The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology have a pretty big chunk of the Ob/Gyn market...pretty much what they say goes. For years they have been determining the outcomes of birth and how they are achieved. So when their most recent article came out I was beyond excited. To quote it word for word, "Attempting a VBAC is a safe and appropriate choice for most women who have had a prior cesarean delivery including for some women who have had two previous cesareans." WOW! That's awesome....and they even go on to say, "Being pregnant with twins, going over 40 weeks, having an unknown or low vertical scar, or suspecting a “big baby” should not prevent a woman from planning a VBAC." WOW, again!!! I mean I can't believe it. Now, unfortunately this doesn't mean that ALL doctors and ALL practices are going to change their minds. Obviously, people have their own opinions no matter what, but the great part is, that some people really believe in this. They believed it before ACOG said it, and will continue to believe as long as the babies and mommies keep coming up healthy on the other side of things....
Now some of you might be wondering if I'm planning a home birth again. Sadly, I am not. While I still believe that it is a great option and you should chose to do so if you can (Please! Or with a midwife in a hospital or birthing center), at this point for me I think it's safest to go with a supportive team in a hospital. The women in my new practice really seem to know what they are doing and have the rule of the midwife down....know when to use your hands, and know when to sit on them.
I encourage to THINK for yourself. Do not just lie back and let some one do what's best or easiest for them. You have options and you have a right to act on them. Do your research and know what is actually healthy and safe for you and your baby. Don't just assume what every person tells you is true. Be educated. I like to think of it this way....there are few decisions we get to make in life that are truly life-changing and/or "a big deal". Some examples: getting married, buying a house, and having babies. If someone were to come to you and say, "I'm an expert on love and marriages, I have years of experience and have been married myself...I'm going to pick your spouse for you." You would most likely think that's absurd. (Which it is...) You would think that no matter how much they knew, they wouldn't know better than you! Of course you'll chose for yourself who you spend the rest of your life with. Let's look at the second example. Say you hire a real estate agent, and instead of them being there to help guide you and listen to your needs they say, "I have a general idea of who you are as a couple and your price range, I've been doing this for years and am a licensed professional. I'll just pick a house for you. No need to have any say in the process or come look at the house...I'll call you when I put an offer in." Again with the absurdities. WHO would do that??! No one hopefully, this real estate agent just met you...they may know your age and where you want to live, but perhaps they don't know you like to garden, or would enjoy a sunroom, or want to have a boatload of kids so you need tons of square footage. So with those two examples in mind, how are we handling the responsibility of the third? Are you willing to let someone tell you what's going to happen for your birth just because they've been "doing this for years"? Will you let a person cut you open just because they are licensed to do so (and so they can be home for dinner)? When you know deep down that it's not the healthiest option for you and your baby...when you really dig deep and think about it and do the research and know your options....you know it's absurd as well. We can't just sit back and let everyone else decide for us. So educate yourself and know what you want. Then work hard to get it.
I hope you all learned a little something from my rant. I just had to get some of that off my chest. There was a lot that went unsaid (shocking I know!) so feel free to ask me any questions you like. I am always open to discussion. Love you all and care for you all deeply.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
tasty tuesday's
Hello, all! I was having some computer issues last night, but here is this weeks recipe! It's SUPER easy and VERY delicious! Enjoy :)
The Best Baked Potato Ever
I swear that's what it's called. I was looking up how to best bake a baked potato and googled that exact phrase and got this recipe! haha Gotta love google.
What you need:
- 6 to 8 baked potatoes (or russet, whichever you prefer)
- kosher salt
- oil (any kind will do, whatever's on hand)
What you do:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Scrub the potatoes really well and make sure they are clean. Then poke holes all over the potatoes with a fork. Rub them or dip them in oil and then sprinkle with kosher salt. Now here's where the difference is made. Do NOT wrap them in tin foil. I repeat do NOT wrap the potatoes!!!! Place them directly on the top rack of your preheated oven with a baking sheet under them to catch any droppings. Let them cook for about an hour to an hour and a half and voila! You have the best baked potato EVER! Trust me...it's seriously delicious. You know your baked potatoes are good when people ask you for your recipe! haha Seriously, try it. You'll never wrap your potatoes again!!!
The Best Baked Potato Ever
I swear that's what it's called. I was looking up how to best bake a baked potato and googled that exact phrase and got this recipe! haha Gotta love google.
What you need:
- 6 to 8 baked potatoes (or russet, whichever you prefer)
- kosher salt
- oil (any kind will do, whatever's on hand)
What you do:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Scrub the potatoes really well and make sure they are clean. Then poke holes all over the potatoes with a fork. Rub them or dip them in oil and then sprinkle with kosher salt. Now here's where the difference is made. Do NOT wrap them in tin foil. I repeat do NOT wrap the potatoes!!!! Place them directly on the top rack of your preheated oven with a baking sheet under them to catch any droppings. Let them cook for about an hour to an hour and a half and voila! You have the best baked potato EVER! Trust me...it's seriously delicious. You know your baked potatoes are good when people ask you for your recipe! haha Seriously, try it. You'll never wrap your potatoes again!!!
Friday, December 3, 2010
It's a girl!!!
So this morning we loaded up the van, headed to the ultrasound place and found out we're having a girl baby!!! We are so excited and honestly still a little bit in shock about it! So far, (I don't foresee us changing our minds, but you never know) we've decided on the name Ruby Fayne. Both Graham's grandfather and grandmother had mothers named Ruby and my grandmother was named Fayne. We feel the name is awesome and a great way to honor the people we love! Here are some pictures of our baby girl. :)
Sorry the pictures are so large! I don't know how to make them any smaller! haha Anyway, this view is as if you sat the baby on a glass coffee table and looked up from underneath! Definitely a girl!
I like this one because you can see lots of her and her big belly :)
This one might just be my favorite because you can see a small smile on her face!
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