...so I will do my best to not ramble on and make this too lengthy, but you know me and I'm not making any promises. ;)
So at my 40 week check up, I looked healthy and the baby girl looked healthy, but there was just one major problem. My midwife had gotten my operative reports (the notes that the doctor writes up after doing a c-section) and was reading through them and noticed that my previous OB who did both my sections, wrote something pretty awful. After Quinn's birth she found it
helpful to write, "This individual is not a candidate for VBAC." Now this didn't strike me as strange at all, knowing that that particular doctor isn't fond of homebirths, midwives and VBAC's (anything natural in general really...). But it kind of put my midwife on edge. She said she has done tons of VBAC's and read tons of OpReports and she had NEVER seen a doctor write something like that. To explain further, with Quinn's birth things got kind of tricky...he had the cord wrapped around his neck three times and was a BIG baby, so when they pulled him out of my abdomen the incision she had made actually tore more. It was about a centimeter off of the left side. Not terrible, but not ideal. Well, between the tear and the doctor's commentary this made my midwife a little nervous. So she wanted us to meet with the OB. (My practice is made up of three midwives who catch all the babies and an OB who only does emergency procedures)
So we made an appointment and went and met with him at his office. He was WONDERFUL! I know it sounds crazy hearing me talk about an OB like this, but seriously...he was amazing. He wasn't nervous about it all. We did talk about how my risks would slightly go up rather than if I hadn't torn, but Graham and I knew that from the beginning. He also felt no need to do any ultrasounds or schedule any extra appointments. Seriously fantastic.
So at my 41 week appointment I was checked, still 0 dilated and 0% effacement. No biggie though. I got to talk a long time with my midwife and really put her and myself at ease about how the actual birth was going to go. The OB was on board and that made her feel much better, as did I, but honestly I was getting impatient and I was starting to get afraid they wouldn't let me go past 42 weeks (I can only have the awesome birth if they let me get there, right?) so I scheduled an "induction" appointment at the acupuncturist.
Saturday April 23, I go in for my "induction" by myself because Graham was studying for his finals and didn't quite know what to expect, but I was excited. I met with the acupuncturist for a long time just chatting, then he started with the needles. He placed them in all the trigger points for starting up labor and let me sit for a while....then it got....interesting. Next he came in with what they called the "ESTIM", which is short for Electrical Stimulator. He took 6 little cables (they looked like miniature jumper cables! ha!) and attached them to the needles sticking out of me. Then he bumped up the charge and we were ready to go. We did three rounds of upping the charge until my contractions got REALLY intense. I was having to concentrate and make sounds and breath deeply. I started to think to myself (excuse my french...), "Holy shit...how am I going to drive home?!" So I told the acupuncturist I needed to take a break and call my husband. It had been four hours since I got there, it was like time sped up or something, it was crazy. So I called Graham worried about driving home, but we decided it would be ok and I just would come home right then. So I paid the wonderful man and went on my way. I continued to have contractions all afternoon and into the evening, but was really unsure if this was actually it. Around about 11 they were pretty much gone, at least just sporadic, and we went to sleep deciding it wasn't it.
At six on Easter morning I woke up to a pretty strong contraction and they kept coming for about every 20 minutes, I tried to just ignore them and figured they were probably still an aftershock of the ESTIM....we went on with our day and headed to my parents house for an egg hunt and lunch. Somewhere between 1 and 2 o'clock the contractions changed. I decided to still make our second trip of the day because I knew I would feel so bad if we went home thinking we were having a baby and it was a false alarm...so we headed to Graham's parents house for dinner and an egg hunt.
Once there my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and I decided to go for a walk. Barefoot of course ;). We walked a mile and while I mostly tried to walk through the contractions, there were a few I had to stop and breathe through. Once back at the house I decided I really wanted to get into the hot tub. (don't worry we turned the heat down earlier in the day to 98 degrees...I wasn't going to boil my baby.) While in the hot tub I had a couple of really good contractions, and after that we decided to get out and head home. I had Graham come help me go to the bathroom and change out of my bathing suit and while we did that my contractions all of a sudden picked up and were coming pretty strong about every two minutes.
When we got in the car to head home we decided to call the midwife. She said to not go home and just come straight to the hospital to get checked, so we swung by the apartment to get my stuff, just in case, and headed to the hospital. The car ride was hell on earth by the way.
Once there my mother-in-law, who had followed us, helped me inside. I remember saying to her, "If this turns out to be nothing I'm going to be really pissed." She just laughed and said, "I definitely don't think it's nothing."
At about 8:30pm, we got upstairs and into a triage room and waited for the midwife to come check me. When she got there I was a "stretchy" 4cm dilated and about 70% effaced...yup...this was definitely it! So we waited in the triage room for just a little bit until they moved us to a labor and delivery room.
Once there, I just labored the best I could. The hospital didn't have any monitors that could get wet and being a VBAC I had to be under continuous monitoring so that meant no getting in the tub or shower. And whenever I tried to sit or lay down my contractions just seemed to get worse pain wise. So there I stood. Next to the bed. Just swaying and trying to relax. The problem is after standing for a while you get a little bit tired....I'm unsure of the time (I tried really hard not to look at the clock, it only made me frustrated), but I remember the midwife checking me and I was about 8cm, but unfortunately feeling the urge to push already. So the midwife told me to try and not push and just keep laboring. This is where it got really hard for me. Not just physically, but mentally. Since I was so tired, a lot of times during a strong contraction my knees would sort of give out...and every time my knees bent I could not stop myself from pushing. It was like a weird knee jerk reaction. No matter how hard I tried not to push, if my knees ever bent there was no stopping it. I was trying so hard to make my body do what my brain was telling it to do and my body just was not cooperating. I started to get discouraged. So after a little while of this type of laboring on one of my involuntary pushes my water broke. (Which my sister-in-law impressively dodged! She was standing only two feet in front of me holding my hands helping me labor when bam! Water hit the floor, but not her shoes...I was quite impressed.) So I labored more and my midwife checked me again and I was only almost 9 (if I remember correctly). This again, was discouraging to me. I started asking about other options. I was done. I was so worried that if I kept going at this rate I would have absolutely no energy to push this baby out. I was so decided in my mind, but thankfully I had a room full of people telling me, "NO! You CAN do this. Stop saying that, you will have the energy to do this." (All of you know who you are and I love you SO much for saying that to me. Just got tears in my eyes writing that.) So my midwife had me lie down and told me that my cervix was almost "in the way" of the baby. Like the lip of it was pushing around her head just enough that it was maybe what was keeping everything slow. So she told me with the next few contractions if I feel the urge to push just go with it. She was going to try and push the cervix back while I pushed down and hoped that would help it move out of the way. So we did that for several contractions, then she told me to just keep laboring and if I felt the urge to push it was ok, but don't overdo it. Still try to hold back somewhat. This made me feel better. At least the involuntary pushes were acceptable now.
So there I stood. Standing. Swaying. Breathing. Involuntarily pushing. Trying not to scream too much. And more standing. Then the contractions got really intense. I started feeling it in my bottom and no longer in my abdomen. It was hard. I just kept getting worried about how much longer I had to go. I didn't think I could keep going much longer. I was just so tired. So everyone convinced me to try and lay down. I tried to protest saying that the contractions hurt worse when I was laying down, but they of course got me with logic. Even if they hurt worse while they were happening, it was worth it to get rest in between. So I got into the bed on my left side and labored for just a short time there. It was nice to get a rest in between the contractions and I tried to relax when I could. But them something changed. With one of the contractions I really felt like there was "something" (as I described it...ha!) was coming out. They all told me well that's what we're trying to accomplish so just keep going. With the next contraction I said with some urgency, "NO. Seriously something is coming out I feel like I need to reach back there and catch something." They all said no that's what
we're here for! So my midwife told me to lift my right leg and the whole room at the same time went, "OH! There's a baby there!" Uhh...Go figure! ;)
My midwife and everyone helped me sit up in the bed and get into a more comfortable position. It was finally time to push this baby out for real! I didn't really grasp what was going on at the time, but I was already feeling so happy about almost being done. The contractions separated themselves a little bit so I felt like I was getting a little more rest, but then I noticed all these people coming in the room and got nervous and I asked, "What's going on?" And I'll never forget what my sister-in-law said, "There coming in here because it's time to push this baby out. You're almost done. You did it." I was so happy. Normally, when swarms of people come in it's to take me to the operating room or take away my baby. Not so this time. This time was going to be the way it should be.
So I started pushing for real. Pushing to push a baby out. No more little tiny involuntary pushes. I pushed for about 30 or 40 minutes (I think...not to sure on that) and voila! Her head was out! And it was HUGE! She stayed there for just a minute when the midwife really started tugging on her. She was quite big and very purple. I wasn't feeling the urge to push at that time, but my midwife looked at me with urgent eyes and said, "Heather, I really need you to push hard right now." So I pushed with all I had left and out she came!! And she was BIG! They put her on my chest and it was glorious. I was so excited. And speechless. And couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that we had just done it.
They took her away after only a minute or two because she "had a lot of mucous" and they wanted to get it out. Well...the stupid nurse put her on her back and was trying to suction it out. Now, if you ask me maybe try turning her over and patting her on the back? No? Ok, do it the stupid, hard way then. While they were suctioning her my midwife was swiftly working to get the placenta out. They worry about it with VBACs and she wanted to make sure it wasn't torn or anything. So I delivered the placenta, totally in tact and healthy/normal looking. (Sorry if that's TMI) Then Graham told the suctioning nurse that that was enough and she needed to be with her mother.
So my sister-in-law picked her up and brought her to me. There we laid. Nursing and just being in awe of each other. I couldn't thank the people in the room enough. I wanted to say so much, but just felt so speechless. And tired. So we laid there for a while until we got moved up to a recovery room and I was just still so shocked as to what just happened.
As I've told several people since having her, the icing on the cake for me was really how Cora responded to the whole thing. Not once did she get distressed. The monitor reflected that. And when my water broke, it was completely clear. No meconium. It really just reassured me that this was the way this birth was supposed to go. Nothing was forced or manipulated. She WANTED to come out that way. It wasn't just what I wanted. She wanted it too and we worked together to make it happen.
So my beautiful baby girl was born on April 25 at 3:12am. 10lbs 7.5oz, drug free and happy. :)
I am so thankful to all of you who were praying for me and thinking of me. All your positive energy and thoughts and prayers were well received. I love you all and am so thankful to have all of you in my life.
