My thoughts on potty training...

Hi, my name is Heather...

and I am a failure at potty training.

I recently went through my third (techinally fourth) go 'round of potty training. And it didn't go well.

When it comes to potty training 

I feel like I have tried everything.

I've tried the 3 day method, 

the 1 day method,

the "waiting 'til their ready" thought process,

the "when they show interest run with it" ideaology,

and the "put 'em in pull-ups and hope they get it" trick.

None of these have worked.

I feel like there's all this pressure these days to have your baby potty trained by (or before) their second birthday and millions upon bajillions of mommy blogs that tell you how they had little Suzy potty trained before she could even say the word "pee pee".

So of course, with all three of my children I did my best to have them potty trained at two.

Whether it was because I was tired of buying diapers,

or they kept getting bad rashes so I thought, "heck, just take away the diapers and you get no more rash, right?!"

or even when they show all the signs for being ready for potty training, it still. doesn't. work.

I've come to a couple of conclusions about this 

recently that I thought I'd share. 

So if you are a potty trainer failure like myself,

or you're wondering if it's the right time to start 

here are my two pitiful cents:

1. I am a chill mom. I don't really make my kids do anything.

Yeah, when the playroom is out of control, I get them to clean it up, and they clean up after themselves at mealtime, but I don't force chores upon them. I don't make them share (most of the time they are just willing to), I don't really enforce any certain activities or behavior.

(sidenote: more on this style of parenting to come)

So how does forcing them to go potty make any sense? 

Honestly, I think it straight up confuses them.

We try to run our house in a manner where everyone, including the kids, have a voice.

So when the timer goes off, and we run to the potty, I have a hard time making them sit there.

Yeah, yeah I try to sing songs and all that, but seriously, if you were watching your favorite show, or reading an enthralling book and some timer went off out of no where and someone forced you to leave what you were doing and go sit in a corner somewhere and sing about a bus with wheels that go 'round and 'round...you'd be pissed too right?

Especially if this was a new thing.

Like normally you get to do whatever you want (within reason) and nobody messes with you and then all of a sudden this happens. Yeah, this makes no sense to me, so why am I making my kids do it?

Another aspect of potty training I struggle with is water.

I'm a water drinker.

Especially at night.

I find it extremely cruel to tell them they can't have water at night. 

I get thirsty, are they not allowed to get thirsty?

I think a good nights sleep with a pull-up on is way more helpful than a kid who gets up four times a night but keeps their pants dry.

Train playing is serious stuff...why stop to go potty?!

2. So I have a tendency to talk to my kids like human beings.

Even when they are babies and toddlers.

And I don't care who you are...you could be the worlds most amazing teacher/mother/witch/sorcerer in all the land and sometimes there are kids who don't talk or communicate well before the age of three.

Yeah, they say words and stuff, but they kinda don't have the ability to give you major trains of thought.

So when my 2 year old hears the timer for potty go off and she just starts running away, screaming, "no thank you! no thank you!" I can't really fault her on that.

What's she gonna say, 

"Mom, I'd rather not stop what I'm doing for a potty break, and I don't understand what these "treats" are because I haven't effectively gone in the potty yet so I don't really think it's worth it to me."

No. She's not going to say that.

Heck, I don't even know if that's what the screaming and running away even means.

So to me, it just makes sense to wait 'til they can effectively tell you what they want, or why they don't want to do what you are asking of them.

"I really like these pretzels and juice mom, 

but I don't know what you want from me."

When I potty trained Quinn for the second time, he was 3.

It wasn't easy by any means, but he definitely understood it better and could tell me his thoughts.

And it still took him 6 more months 

to stop pooping his pants.

3. In the grand scheme of things, I don't really think potty trained kids are that much easier than diapered ones.

Maybe it's just me, and maybe I'm crazy, but when you're in my situation it's really not more convenient. I mean, I've got 3 kids less than three years apart with one on the way.

I'm not getting away from diapers any time soon. 

So whether I have to stop what I'm doing to change a diaper, or wipe a butt on the potty is really no different to me.

---

So by now you probably think I'm crazy, 

but this is just how I see it.

Or at least, this is how my family operates.

I have a 2 year old in diapers.

A 3 year old in pull-ups at nap and night time.

And a 5 year old in pull-ups at night time.

I'm not forcing them to change any time soon. 

And I'm ok with it.

I'm just keepin' it real. 

I think all the moms out there that can get their kids to go in the potty day and night by age 2 are wonderful.

It ain't for me, and I'm good with that!

What's it like at your house?

Have your kids happily potty trained or put up a fight?

Do you think it's worth it or do you wait?

Remember ladies, it's a judgement free zone ;)