Mack: a birth story.

So I'm not gonna lie. 

I've been avoiding writing this. 

Weird, I know. But here's the deal...

a lot of things changed in the last few days before Mack was born and I struggled with the decision to share all of this or not. (not that there are tons of people who read this, but ya put something on the internet, 

you can't take it back.)

I kind of did exactly what I tell people to avoid all the time.

Last I wrote, we were scheduled for a c-section because Mack was breech and I just wasn't in it mentally to deliver vaginally that way. Well...a week before my c-section he went head down. Which usually is awesome and wonderful and unicorns and rainbows 

all wrapped up in a beautiful package. 

Except...I still wasn't in it mentally. 

I just was not confident in a) him staying head down and b) my ability to labor and deliver without my constant fear of something going wrong. 

I was still worried about the cord and where it was floating around in there, plus I just wasn't convinced he was going to stay down. So I decided to go ahead with the c-section no matter what. 

I had a good talk with him about five days before and told him if he wanted to come out on his own he'd have to do it now because otherwise this was happening.

Two days later he went back into transverse position (sideways) for a while and then plopped back down again.

That is when I knew I was making

 the right decision for myself. 

So Friday morning, we got up early.

5am kind of early. 

My surgery was scheduled for 8am so we had to be there two hours before. 

I'll be honest...walking into the hospital not in labor was super weird. It felt so surreal, but looking back I kind of enjoyed how peaceful everything was. 

I was again sort of weirded out while they checked me in...hooked me up to the monitor to check and make sure baby was ok...all the while I'm just laying there...

not having any contractions. 

Then Dr. Bootstaylor came in...we chatted for a few minutes, did some paperwork, and then he said it was time. 

And I got to walk myself to the Operating Room. 

Talk about crazytown. 

So they wouldn't let Graham or Madeline in there while I was getting my spinal block, so I had my midwife, Deena, on one side and Dr. Bootstaylor on the other. 

As I was waiting, they had an intern/student helping with my spinal block, I think Deena could sense I was sort of freaking out. All of a sudden I had a split second of second guessing myself. It was just all so "unnatural". But she jumped in and started to small talk with me and we all just sat there quietly talking for a few minutes. 

I just kept telling myself, 

"different doesn't always mean bad."

Because it's true. 

This was a VERY different experience from my previous labors/deliveries...but that doesn't make it bad.

I can't imagine how long and tiring and painful my labor would have been if I had constantly been worried about something going wrong. 

--Labor is almost more mental than it is physical. Which is one big reason why I think so many more women are capable of natural child birth than they give themselves credit for.

I think so many women could deliver naturally if they had more people telling them that they were strong and could do it, rather than what will go wrong or how they are incapable.--

I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wanted my baby in my arms the moment he was born and not a minute after. 

I was so worried that if I ended up with another emergency c-section I was risking giving that up. 

So, we got the spinal in and they laid me back and started prepping. This is when I started to get really excited.

I was going to be meeting my baby any minute now!

And everyone was being so nice.

Like, unbelievably nice! 

I think we were all just so calm and excited to meet a really cute baby ;)

There was lots of tugging and pressure and waiting and more waiting and then all of a sudden they dropped the curtain down and I saw his foot! 

It just popped right out! haha

He handed the baby to the midwife and she walked him around to me and placed him directly on my chest.

It was amazing!!!

(I've got tears in my eyes just thinking about it again!)

We laid there for about 30 minutes before the nurse asked to take him...and I was definitely fine with it by then.

Since he didn't labor he had a lot of fluid in his lungs so he was crying a lot. 

The crying didn't really bother me, but I thought if he was going to be crying anyway might as well get the weighing and washing over with!

So the nurse went to pick him up and as soon as she pulled away from me everyone on my side of the curtain gasped!

He had pooped alllllllll over us! hahaha

I just had no idea!

I was too busy snuggling him to notice!

So they took him and weighed him and cleaned him up, while the anesthesiologist cleaned me up, and then brought him back where Graham and Madeline got some turns to hold him :) 

By this time I was starting to get tired.

I had been up so early with adrenaline pumping that I was definitely starting to crash a little bit. 

So once everything was done and sewn up they rolled me back to the 2hr recovery room where my parents and sister got to meet Mack.

It was so fun passing him around and taking pictures and talking about how lovely the whole experience was. 

The rest of the day went well and I just could not have asked for a better experience. 

It seriously went above and beyond my wildest dreams!

Now, I'm still a big supporter of natural birth and think that it's absolutely the best way to go if you are able...

but I wouldn't change Mack's birth for anything.

He did so amazing and we bonded so well 

with the family centered c-section. 

Here are some pictures taken during surgery with the go-pro and regular camera...and after in the recovery room.

Prepped and ready to go!

Graham and Madeline are anxiously waiting.

Let's do this!

HE'S HERE!

In my arms at last!

So handsome with Aunt Courtney :)

LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS, Y'ALL. 

Thanks for sticking around for such a long story...

it feels great to get all that out. 

I'm going to get back to snuggling my Mackers now :)

tasty tuesday's: Crockpot Peach Chipotle Chicken

This is not a paleo recipe.

I know, I know...

but I'll just be honest and say that laziness has gotten the best of me lately.

So I've been cooking mostly primal/gluten free recipes in the crockpot because...well, I'm just tired.

This recipe was particularly delicious so I thought I'd share it with you all! I found it on pinterest, (obvi!) and the original creator of this recipe was Heidi over at thefrugalgirls.com.

I did change a couple of things, but it's mostly the same and super easy and cheap!

What you need:

- 4-5 boneless, skinless chicken breast 

*I used thighs and they were awesome*

- 1 bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's Honey Chipotle BBQ sauce

- 1 jar of Smucker's Peach preserves (18 oz)

*the first ingredient in smucker's is high fructose corn syrup, so i used Polaner's Peach preserves. I got two jars at 10 oz and used both jars*

I used two of these! 

What you do:

- Cook the chicken on high for 3 hours (I only did about 2.5 hrs because thighs are smaller than breast)

- Drain the juices from the crockpot

*Do this step! It makes for a thicker sauce*

- Mix together BBQ sauce and preserves and then pour it over the chicken.

- Let them keep cooking on high together for about 30 more minutes.

After that you're done!

Easy, right?

I was unsure of what to pair with it because I had no clue what kind of flavor to expect, so we just ate it over rice.

It was scrumptious! And reheated so well for lunch the next couple of days. 

She has a few more pairings that look good, so definitely head over there and check it out...

they look so yummy and easy!

I'll be trying the Orange Chicken next! :)

xoxo, 

Heather

I'm having a c-section. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

It doesn't take long for you to figure this out about me...

I like natural things.

Especially natural birth.

If we get even close to the topic of childbearing, my opinion is usually made known. I try not to be harsh with it, 

but quiet I certainly am not. 

So what's up with the title of this post then? 

Well, because it's true.

I'm having a c-section.

I'm scheduling a c-section, actually.

You see, for as long as I have been an advocate for natural birth, I have also been an advocate of the idea 

"intervention is great when necessary". 

I have had two emergency c-sections and 

a natural, vaginal birth.

First section was after a long 68 hour labor...baby Linc wasn't getting into a good position, there was thick meconium and I honestly was too exhausted to be coherent. 

Second section was after a normal amount of labor, but we didn't know the cord was wrapped around baby Quinn's neck three times...so when I was about 8cm and he was heading down the birth canal his heart rate dropped.

REALLY dropped.

And it didn't come back up. 

This is not something you mess with. So we literally hauled ass to the OR and got him out of there. Thankfully, there was no damage done to Quinn.

Third go at it, Cora did great. Vaginal birth. Completely natural. She was in a wonky position at first, but we did a few home remedies and she turned head down no problem.

Here's what I think:

1. I should have gone with a midwife from the get go. I think if I had known Lincoln was in a weird position we could have done something to turn him like we did with Cora. 

2. Since I didn't go to a midwife, once in the position I was in with Lincoln, the c-section became necessary.

3. Quinn was a necessary c-section no doubt. 

4. However necessary the sections were, they were very traumatizing for me. And although their health was great, as they showed in their APGAR scores, I think it must have been traumatizing to the boys to some degree psychologically.

So here's where the whole 

"planning a c-section" comes in.

Mack is plain old not turning head down. On a good day he stays frank breech the whole day. Most days he flip flops back and forth between breech (sometimes with his feet behind him, I can feel it...ouch) and transverse...or the un-technical term...sideways. 

Head on one side, feet on the other. 

Now it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you definitely can't push a baby out of your hooha that is sideways.

If he's frank breech, it's a possibility. 

(Presenting butt first with feet completely out of the way)

Any other combination though is highly unlikely.

Now, if you've met Quinn for more than 30 seconds you know that child is cray cray. 

He's rambunctious, and loud, and FUN.

Well, I'm here to tell you he's been like that since day one.

He had been my most active baby, up until this guy. 

Quinn was so active I could have SWORN I had two babies in there. But no, just one baby who was out of his mind.

Mack doesn't just give him a run for his money...

he freaking takes. the. cake. 

Quinn moved maybe a third of what Mack has done. 

And STILL does. 

Quinn definitely started to slow down and "run out of room", so to speak, towards the end.

Not Mack. He's still going strong.

Constantly moving.

So given my history with active babies, I am pretty confident that Mack will be all tangled up in that cord of his. 

We recently went to an ultrasound to confirm his position and the only pieces of cord they could find to look at were all right by his face and neck. 

Awesome. (not actually awesome)

Also, I have an anterior placenta, which isn't a bad thing, but you just don't know if it's in his way. He may not be able to get his fat head around it and go down. 

So I met with my awesome OB and here's the facts we both came to:

1. We have a history of cords being wrapped.

2. His cord was most visible in his neck region. Not good.

3. The anterior placenta could potentially cause a problem.

4. He has tons of fluid to move around in. 

(not too much, but enough)

5. When he is transverse/sideways, his movements slow down greatly. I feel his limbs/feet/hands the most when he's breech. Which leads us to believe he could be losing slack when he moves sideways and his movements become sluggish.

So given these facts, this is why WE (Graham and I) chose to schedule a c-section...I am in no hurry to repeat what happened at Quinn's delivery. He was a "surprise",

(not knowing the gender that is)

so I woke up in an empty recovery room, all by myself, having no idea what just happened. 

The surgery was done so quickly they didn't give me an epidural, I had general anesthesia, so I woke up, alone, in a daze, I had no idea how long I had been asleep for or if my baby was still alive or been born unscathed without any brain damage. And if they did survive, I didn't know if it was a boy or girl. Also, I was highly tolerant to the pain meds they had been giving me while I was still unconscious so I woke up in CRAZY amounts of pain. Finally a nurse came in to check on me and I told her I needed pain meds...she said I had been having them for hours. She ended up having to give me morphine before I could be transferred to a real recovery room and meet my baby. She also didn't mention anything about my baby and just said she'd let my husband come see me. So I thought for sure it was bad news. I got the news we had a healthy boy from Graham, 

 hours after Quinn was born.

Just to sum that up for you:

SHITTY. 

REAAAAAALY SHITTY.

Here's what's awesome about my OB now and scheduling a

 c-section...

family centered c-sections and getting to choose when it all goes down.

Yeah, Mack could go head down maybe, or he could be in the perfect frank breech position when I go into labor, but there is NO guarantee that he'll stay that way, or have enough cord slack to come out. Plus, Dr. Bootstaylor says he's a huge supporter of breech births, but the mom has to be in it mentally 100%. 

Honestly, I'm not. 

After the year and a half that I've had...I'm totally expecting something to go wrong. Especially if I try for a vaginal birth at this point. 

What's important to me is those moments right after the baby is born. Being together, and conscious, and happy.

Dr. Bootstaylor is the only OB in Atlanta that practices 

Family Centered C-sections.

I'm not strapped to the table, and when it comes time for him to bring the baby out they drop the drape so I can see him being born (much like a vaginal delivery), the midwife will help pull my gown down a little bit, take the baby from the doctor, and bring him straight to me. He stays on my chest, in my arms, for the rest of the time! So once he's on my chest they pull the drape back up, dim the lights, and we get to be together until it's time to transfer me to recovery. Always staying together. There are no warmers, or nurseries, or nurses taking him away. Graham doesn't have to leave my side either to chase after where ever they usually end up taking them. Another upside to this is Dr. Bootstaylor really takes his time. He schedules them further apart so he can go slowly and do his best to work some of the fluid out of the baby's lungs while he's bringing them out...something that naturally occurs by the baby going through the birth canal. He also milks the cord before cutting it so the baby keeps as much of their blood as possible.

Here's a video if you'd like to get more details about it:

So basically, as close to a "normal" birth as you can get, 

without it actually being normal.

Now, I know for some this still isn't enough.

It's not the real thing.

It's not the same as a natural, vaginal birth.

But you know what?

I'm good with it.

I'm just dealing with facts.

I still don't think it's right to schedule c-sections unnecessarily, but when there are so many questions and so many doubts...I had to ask myself, 

"At what point is a vaginal birth still worth it?"

And amazingly enough, my OB and midwives asked the same thing. Instead of forcing him down, maybe we should ask ourselves why he's not.

Baby's are smart, and often try to tell us things 

as best they can.

He has enough fluid and room, he's been encouraged in all the ways we know how 

(introversion, moxibustion, laying on left side, etc etc etc)

so now the questions were "Why?" and "Is it worth it?"

And because the practice I have chosen is amazing at supporting mothers, the choice was left to us.

The parents.

We were given all the facts and advice and evidence, and then given a voice to say what we wanted.

So we decided that the most important thing to us was a non-traumatizing delivery, followed by constant contact with our baby.

So we have chosen 41wks and 1day.

October 4, 2013.

That's the day our Mack comes.

If I go into labor before that we will just move the surgery up to then, but let's be honest...I'm not gonna go into labor before then. haha 

We all know this.

I am honestly thrilled.

I feel so much less anxiety and stress.

I'm just excited now. Which is exactly how it should be.

A mother's last few weeks should be a good, positive healthy kind of anxious.

"When will it be? Do I have everything I need?"

Not negative thoughts and terrifying worries.

I am so thankful to my team of midwives and our obstetrician. They have been so supportive and encouraging.

It's very weird to know the day and time my baby is coming, but man, 

it's gonna be awesome. 

xoxo, Heather

tasty tuesday's: Chicken -without the noodles- Soup

I posted this on my facebook page the other day when I made it, but wanted to share it again on here in case anyone missed it.

This is my favorite, "go to" soup.

It's so warm and savory and nourishing it's just too good not to share. Plus it's pretty simple to make and doesn't use any crazy ingredients.

It's a little more time consuming than a lot of other recipes I post, 

but man oh man...it's totally worth it.

I've been feeling under the weather the last few days with an unfortunate summer cold, but this soup seriously works wonders.

I found it via pinterest, but the recipe comes from a website called SlimPalate.

The author and cook behind the site is a teenage boy who's been losing weight the healthy way. He's super inspiring and such an amazing creator of food. You can follow his recipe there, just click on the link or click here.

Here's a picture of the delicious soup I made...

try not to drool on your computer ;)

xoxo,

Heather

lately.

So, I've been in sort of a funk.

Stuck.

I feel like I've had so much going on in my brain and I've tried so many times to sit down and write that I've lost count, but it just comes out all jumbled up and rambling on.

This post might come off that way as well, but I have been feeling the urge to try and write again.

Despite my crazy, jumbly up brain.

There has definitely been a lot going on lately...

Quinn's birthday is coming up on the 11th, but we celebrated early at the lake over Labor Day Weekend.

I'm that mom who HAS to give her kids a party...but I'm just so tired and uncomfortable that the thought of planning one was exhausting. So I took the easy route and just did it up big while we were already down there with family.

I just bought generic decorations at the party store, so all I had to really put any effort into was his shirt and the cupcakes...

which were both the easiest things ever! 

High fives for me! But the best part is

I think he really enjoyed it and felt special.

He wanted a "Mike Wazowski Monster Party":)

Sibling Love :)

We have a new tradition too of going to the mall for play and lunch and going on the Merry Go 'Round for birthdays. Plus we'll let him pick where we eat dinner that night,

 (he'll most likely pick Chick-fil-a because he's original like that) 

so I'm not too worried about him feeling "forgotten about" in the midst of all this baby drama.

Speaking of baby drama...

I got a stubborn baby boy in here who's 

not turning head down.

At 37 weeks and roughly 8lbs 

this isn't the most ideal situation to be in...

We're doing everything we can at home to encourage him to turn and we meet with our OB on Thursday to kind of 

talk about our options. 

It's hard to birth a baby the natural way if their head is in your side so...

who knows what's going to happen.

Overall, I'm ok with it all. 

I'm much more go with the flow this time around than I have been in the past. If there's anything I can do to avoid a 

c-section and medicine, trust me I'll do it, but at this point it kinda feels out of my hands.

I've been stressing, and working, and trying so hard to turn him down and I just realized the other day it's ultimately up to him. There's some crazy reason why he hasn't turned and I'm ok with that. Baby's are way smarter than we give them credit for. So I'm just going to try and trust him, and make the best, most educated decisions I can...probably while crying the whole time because my hormones are crazy out of control, but ya know...I'll be sobbing happy tears I guess.

I'm really looking forward to fall...

I usually go through a phase like this every year, but this year the longing is for reals. For. REALS.

I'm just ready for cooler weather, annnnd most of all not being pregnant. It's no secret this pregnancy has been hard, and I feel like there's still so much of it to come (not knowing what the heck this baby is going to do or how he will make his way into this crazy world), so I'm just taking it day by day and look forward to when he finally gets here and we can enjoy pumpkin-y things, chubby newborn legs, trick or treating, and so much more this season has to offer us...

We bought our first baby pumpkins at the farmers market...

unbelievably cute. :)

I'll be trying to update more, and you know of course I'll post when he comes and a birth story and all of that jazz...thanks for being patient with me friends. :) 


xoxo,
Heather

Oh, the places you'll go!

There were many reasons that the hubs and I decided to start our family while we were still very young...

a few of them being:

1. We got married young, so we felt we had had an adequate amount of time together just the two of us.

2. I liked the idea of being a "young mom".

3. The sooner you start the sooner they're gone. ;)

An "empty nest" in my forties was much more appealing than an 

"empty nest" in my fifties. 

*I put empty nest in quotes knowing that at least one of my children will stick around for a while, or come back to live with us at some point. PLUS, it's not like we ever stop parenting right? 

We just get to have a little more freedom once they're older :)

4. My kids will get to enjoy their grandparents for much longer. Also, if for some reason we need a grandparent to live with us or they need more personal care as they get older, we will have the space and time to do that for them since our children will be older as well. 

But, one of the biggest reasons I wanted to have my family sooner rather than later was for travel.

You see, when it comes to traveling I'm kind of a...snob.

My parents have been very blessed and I was raised taking awesome vacations and staying in amazing hotels and basically spoiled 
(in a good way!) 
when it comes to traveling. 

Now don't get me wrong, my parents didn't raise me to be a bratty girl who only likes the finer things in life. I buy second hand stuff for my kids, I love thrift shopping for my own clothes, and amazon is my best friend. But the one thing I've had a hard time letting go of, is the fancy travel perks.

So needless to say, traveling across Europe with practically no money and staying in hostels or cheap motels just didn't appeal to me in my twenties. But, traveling the world and staying in nice hotels with my husband who I love very much, in my forties? 

Now that sounds nice!

Trip to Italy? Ok let's buy a few cases of the best wine.

Ireland? Let's hit every single pub and drink the best beer.

Iceland? Greece? Austrailia? 

You name it, we can do it. 

And we'll preferably do it comfortably! :)

Now you may be judging me at this point, but to be honest...

I don't care. To each their own right?

Even though these amazing trips aren't going to happen for years I still dream about it.

I have a pinterest board named "oh, the places you'll go" with all sorts of breathtaking images pinned. 

Here is just a sampling of the beautiful places I'd love to visit:

Ireland

Bridges Park

 

Cliffs of Moher

Downtown Dublin

The Oldest Pub in Dublin

Greece

Santorini, Greece

Papafragas, Milos, Greece

Blue Beaches, Zakynthos Island

You can also check out the 100 most beautiful images of Greece here. 

Italy

Hillside Positano, Italy

China

I have actually been to China before, but didn't get to see too much.

Plus, I would love to go back with the hubs to re-experience it.

The Bridge of Immortals

Heaven's Stairs

I would also love to go to New Zealand, Austrailia, Bora Bora, Austria, Iceland, Fiji...

the list goes on and on!

Hopefully, we'll be able to go on some trips with our kids when they are older as well.
I'm sure they'd love to travel with us too, 
but I try not to get my hopes up too high...
accommodations for six is a bit more costly than two :)

Where have you traveled that you loved?

What's your dream trip?

I love looking at the travel section on pinterest...

it's just all so beautiful!

We'll get there one day...

xoxo,

Heather